live with it

Recently, Insomnia ruled over again, I repeated again!! blame it on FUTURES, it sucks! but no matter how suck it is, I need to suck it up, think of my career path. Many considerations need to be taken. 

First, what my parents and brother thought of the career path which I am gonna take, on top of that my relatives thought especially those kaypoh wan. I know totally fml right, what does it has to do with them! I'm okay if I were to consider my parents and brother pov but not the rests!

2nd, the package. Mom and brother don't really want me to be back to my home country, Indonesia. Deep in my heart, I also don't want la cos I don't like the hectic environment. Their reasons: Salary so loww! you studied so expensive and you come back work only for IDR2-3 millions, can't even cover ur accommodations, transport, food, entertainment and the list goes on and on.. which is true la, but what other choices do I have?! Staying in Malaysia or go to any other countries are not really an option, I don't have working permit, employer are looking for ACCA graduates nowadays but I would only have a degree by then, lose hope on that! Maybe you will think, why not you take ACCA? cos its expensive also I don't want to burden my parents for all the fees anymore. It should be a time for them to enjoy, not to think of my school fee etc. 

Basically, these two are the main reasons. Oh ya, Teach for Malaysia is popular amongst us now, I thought that Indonesia does not have one, but I came across that one of my fb friends like Indonesia Mengajar page, its similar but difference in terms of the duration. Malaysia needs 2 years, but Indonesia only a year. Their main purpose is to encourage young people to teach due to shortage of teachers, they will provide the trainings etc. The experience gained might be unbelievable especially the relationship you gonna build with the students, how you manage all the stress and how you cope with the environment that you will be place. It's gonna be a challenge to me if I were to apply cos my bahasa Indonesia is totally shit, I think my malays is better :( 

I am thinking of applying to Indonesia Mengajar for a year then only I will look for degree related jobs. By then, I am probably better at managing my anger and feelings and able to cope with the environment, also bahasa Indonesia. I have not told my mom on this and everyone will probably disagree with it, so shall see when the right time has come. Now, concentrate on passing the last two subjects and get a degree first. 

I am so naive if I only apply for Indonesia Mengajar, of cos I thought most of the luxurious life that I have to forgo. Once you are place in some ulu place, the electricity, water etc are so limited. My luxurious life can still forgo la cos I'm not like those spoilt brat that have lots of money to spend on etc. Mine is just a normal human being life but compared to those kids who stays in ulu place, obviously its so luxurious!

This might be the first post on my personal life I guess. Anyhow, I came across to think that people change, people grow up, people move on, so I shall live with it! I could think of this words because I always try to make efforts to see those friends that are back from UK, somehow it never turns out well with one of my closest friend cos no efforts. So, I decided not to give a damn anymore and say bye to this kind of friends. Maybe I am so heartless not to think that people are working now, can't you think how tired they are bla bla bla! Noo, don't give me that excuses, cos I know how working life is, you manage your time wisely and make time to meet your friends!

I also hate hate totally hate those who lied to me, once you lied to me, don't expect that you have my trust any more! Don't bother to put effort on gaining my trust again. It takes endless to build a trust but seconds to break it, TRUE! Some how, I will learn to live with it. 

Have a great weekend with your loved ones, till then :)